Ambivert

There was a time I wore a heavy soul, Where broken thoughts had quietly taken control. I was cruel to myself, yet kind to every face, Smiling for the world while losing my own place. I carried storms behind laughter in my eyes, Turned pain into silence, truth into disguise. I gave joy away while my own heart bled, Fighting endless wars inside my head. But now I’m learning sunlight can remain, That healing still exists after so much pain. I try to choose peace instead of fear, To live in the moment, to stay fully here. Yes, the past still knocks some nights uninvited, And tears still appear when old wounds are ignited. But I no longer sit there breaking apart, I gather my pieces, I soften my heart. And even with no vision of what waits for me, I trust the path Allah wrote that I cannot yet see. With all of my heart, my soul, and my mind, In Him alone, true peace I find. For I believe His plans are gentler than mine, Even the delays will make sense in time. And maybe every hardship I on...

It is a curse to have a heart that feels too much and a mind that overthinks. It feels true when you’re exhausted by your own emotions and thoughts. When you replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, feel pain too deeply, and care more than others seem to. A heart that feels deeply is capable of rare empathy, loyalty, and love. A mind that overthinks is also a mind that analyzes, reflects, and seeks meaning. The problem isn’t that you feel too much or think too much. The problem is when those two turn against you instead of working for you. When, feelings become self-blame.  Thinking becomes fear.  Reflection becomes rumination. Sensitivity + intelligence can feel like a curse in a loud, careless world. But in the right balance, they’re strengths most people don’t have. Maybe it’s not a curse. Maybe it’s power without boundaries yet. ~Ambivertsyed

Suddenly, she realised that what she was regretting was not the lost past but the lost future, not what had not been but what would never be. And yet, with that understanding came a strange relief. For while some futures were gone, others unwritten and unknown still awaited her. Perhaps the best chapters were not those she had imagined, but those she had yet to live.

I have a big heart, anything and sometimes I hate it, I overthink, apologize too much, forgive too easily, worry too much about people who don't care about me, I feel guilty for things I have no control over, and I feel lonely because I'm afraid I won't find anyone who loves me as deeply as I love.

You know what's scary about this age? You can't even enjoy your down time. You're socially convinced that every moment you're spending not doing anything is wasted time. That you always should be working towards something. We forget that it's okay to have a breather and simply take time to yourself.

How can I describe my life to you? I think a lot, listen to music. I'm fond of flowers. -Susan Sontag, Death Kit