When Allah says "Not This", It's still Love

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There was a time when every night ended in tears, every silence became overthinking, every uncertainty felt frightening, and every unanswered question weighed heavily on my heart. I mistook delays for disappointments, closed doors for loss, and broken expectations for abandonment. But now I see what I could not see then. Allah was not depriving me, He was protecting me. Every path that never opened, every mixed signal that disturbed my heart, every plan that fell apart, and every feeling that never settled... they were all acts of His mercy.  Even the things I forced myself to hold onto, hoping they would work out, were gently taken away before they could leave deeper wounds. He saved me from burdens I was too blind to recognise and from trials that could have shattered my heart even further. SubhanAllah, what I once called heartbreak was, in reality, divine protection. What I thought was going wrong was Allah arranging everything in the most beautiful way. He removed what would ha...

I stay, yet I rise


I read your storms before your skies turned gray,
I knew your silence had too much to say.
Your voice would tremble, mine would quietly bend,
I wore my heart like armor, lover and friend.

I stayed through shadows, guessed your hidden pain,
Held pieces of you through thunder and rain.
Yet when my oceans rose and pulled me apart,
You stood like distance, not close to my heart.

Tell me, what kind of love clocks out at night?
Leaves at midnight and calls that feeling right?
How do you whisper “I care” then disappear,
When the one who loves you is drowning in fear?

I know, I know you care in ways you can,
You stayed till two, till three, tried to understand.
But love is not counted in rare borrowed hours,
It is presence in weakness, not petals and flowers.

And maybe, yes, I hid tears in my chest,
Pretended my breaking deserved little rest.
Maybe I never screamed, “Please, don’t you go,”
Expected your heart to simply know.

But darling, if I call you mine, even friend,
I’d sit through the night till the hurting would end.
Three in the morning? I’d still hold the line,
Because love, to me, says: “Your pain is also mine.”

So why when I’m heavy, when sadness runs deep,
Do I swallow my anger while you fall asleep?
Why must I ache for the warmth of your stay,
Then punish myself when you walk away?

Still hear me now, for I’ve learned through the ache,
Some hearts don’t stay, though promises they make.
And if I am left with the silence you leave,
I will not let heartbreak decide what I grieve.

I will gather my pieces with trembling grace,
Wipe salt from my sorrow, lift tears from my face.
I’ll hold myself close when the nights feel too long,
Become my own shelter, my own healing song.

For I have survived storms no soul ever knew,
And I’ll survive the silence that followed you too.
I may bend in the breaking, may shatter, may fall,
But a woman like me still rebuilds through it all.

I’ll rise in the mornings with fire in my veins,
Turn heartbreak to wisdom and sorrow to gains.
I’ll dream for my future, work hard for my name,
Turn tears into power, turn loss into flame.

I will move on gently, not bitter, not blind,
Keeping the lessons, leaving pain behind.
And while I walk roads where you no longer stay,
I will still send kindness somewhere your way.

For love, if once true, does not turn into war,
It quietly steps back and asks for no more.
So I’ll pray life is gentle wherever you roam,
That peace finds your heart, that joy finds your home.

And me? I’ll keep blooming though seasons depart,
Planting soft courage inside my own heart.
I am not abandoned. I am learning to stand,
Still soft, still strong, with my fate in my hands.

I loved like thunder, stayed through every scar,
But I deserve someone who stays where hearts are.
Not halfway affection, not almost, not part
I deserve a love that arrives for my heart.

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